The Cemetery Is Full of Indispensable Men

Kids these days. They like to make up new names for old ideas and claim them for their own. It’s human nature to do so I guess. Kids these days also don’t think the world existed before the internet, so anything older doesn’t need renaming. If it never happened, you can’t re-name it, right?

So the recent generations are fascinated by software, and name situations that turn up in its adumbration and propagation as if they’re brand new problems. But they really aren’t. Just because captains of industry in the past used ledger books instead of Microsoft Excel, doesn’t mean they didn’t have sophisticated ideas about how the business world worked. Just the opposite, for the most part.

So we’re going to talk about the Bus Factor, and pretend it’s not just a javascript wrangler’s gloss on organizational memory, if you don’t mind. I’ve written several times about organizational memory here. I’d post links to it, but my organizational memory, and the regular kind, ain’t so good. Here’s the dictionary definition of the term:

Organizational memory (OM), sometimes called institutional memory or corporate memory, is the accumulated body of data, information, and knowledge created in the course of an organization’s existence. The concept of organizational memory includes the ideas of components knowledge acquisition, knowledge processing or maintenance, and knowledge usage like search and retrieval.

But the kids have coined their own term for it, and I like it better: the Bus Factor. It has a dictionary definition, too:

The “bus factor” is the minimum number of team members that have to suddenly disappear from a project before the project stalls due to lack of knowledgeable or competent personnel.

Of course that’s the least jocular version of what it means. The original meaning is, “What happens if so-and-so gets hit by a bus?”

This is an important consideration in the software world. Software development is filled with people who hate meetings. They hate telling anyone what they’re doing. They don’t like abstract standards of right and wrong. You know, like speling. They love talking about technical debt (I’ll do that later, unless I get hit by a bus), but not doing anything about it.

So the Wikiup suggest three ways to decrease the dangers of the Bus Factor:

Reduce complexity
Document all processes and keep that documentation up-to-date
Encourage cross-training

Since software development is a Aztec temple devoted to cutting out the end user’s hearts and sacrificing them to the gods of complexity, that first one is a non-starter. When was the last time any software was simplified?

Number two’s a doozy, too. For example, have you ever asked Google how to fix a Google problem? They have metric tonnes of “help” in the form of bulletin boards and other forms of “knowledge bases,” which are heavy on text and short on knowledge. All their suggestions refer to things that don’t exist anymore, or are called something different, or beside the point.

Number three’s a lark, too. Ask a code monkey to perform any other operation in the business and be prepared to see them throw themselves on the low-pile carpet and thrash around in a circle like Curley when he sees a tassel.

The kids are on to something here, though. IBM had a very long institutional memory, just to point out one malefactor among many. It didn’t help them survive the thorough Rometting they got. People who are working in new fields can’t always use old procedures to accomplish what they’re trying to accomplish.

But I’d like to commandeer the Bus Factor from the Zoomers and Millennials, and drive it to a destination that they don’t like to visit. They’re worrying about what happens if the guy who coded their statcounter has a suddenly and they don’t know how it works. Back in my day, we used to call that job security. But what they really should be worried about is how many seats are on that bus, and not who’s in front of it, but who’s sitting inside it when it goes off a cliff.

My generation is going to get on that bus en masse. We’re the generation that’s been climbing the phone poles at night on Christmas to get the lights back on. We built all the houses, and paved all the roads. We welded and painted and wired and plumbed and leveled and raised and moved and planted and sawed and every other damn thing that makes the difference between the twenty-first century and the tenth. We built all the missiles that the cocaine cowboy in Kiev is blasting all over the place.  Hell, we even built the internet you’re worrying about the Bus Factor on. In short, we did all the stuff you can’t be bothered to do anymore. Not with that sweet, sweet, javascript empire you’re going to make instead.

Napoleon once remarked that the cemetery was full of indispensable men. Good luck to you, when yours is.

Dear Savior, The Girls

Jayzuz, Jayzuz, Jayzuz.

They try and they try and they try. They attempt to make movies about the seventies. Maybe they drag in Burt Reynolds for cred. Of course he couldn’t remember what he had for lunch that day, never mind the seventies, but the attempt was there. Then the producer says, “Get me that Bradlando Bloompitt guy or what’s his name, Viggonardo DeCapricrowe, and have them ride around in GTOs and Chevelles and pick up groovy chicks and go to the disco and shit. And music, we need some of that seventies music, you know, Zed Leper and the Bee Goys and Earth, Wind, Ohio, and the Players. Get on the horn to wardrobe. We need lots of leather jackets and miniskirts or something. Whatever.”

No, no, no. It wasn’t like that. It was like this. This is the seventies. You should be driving a Datsun B210 with the back wing window busted out and plastic taped over the hole. You don’t need a movie star. You need a sort of R&B Gollum banging on a grand piano for some reason. Someone needs to be making noises through an upholstered amplifier fashioned from the back seat of the Munster Koach. Everyone must be barking through an SM-58. They buried that SM-57 microphone shtick in a shallow grave along with the Beach Boys.You should have not one, but two Telecasters being worried in the band. The drummer should be wearing lavender coveralls without a shirt on underneath and go to Karen Carpenter’s hairdresser, if not her nutritionist. The lead guitarist’s mind should be wandering, working out how he can turn his fuzz wah pedal into a rudimentary missile defense system while he lays down the licks.

And the girls. Dear savior, the girls.

The Kids Are Alright

Kids these days get up to all sorts of mischief. Thankfully. I grow weary of the old brand of mischief.

I have no idea what to advise my sons about how to behave in the disasterpiece of modern life. Luckily, the topic never comes up. You can decide if your kids watch SpongeBob or Sesame Street when they’re little, I guess, but once they achieve a certain level of autonomy, you have to turn them loose on the world, and the world on them.

Generations leave all sorts of stuff, tangible and virtual alike, and not all of it is of any use to another generation. It’s always interesting to see what kids pick out of the pile to adopt as their own. Sometimes they like it simply because you don’t. Other times, they find stuff you’ve forgotten about, but wish you hadn’t.

Larkin Poe

I Confuse Me Sometimes

I listened to these two pieces of music, one after another.

 

I have no explanation for this behavior. I could lie, and say it was a random occurrence, a chance encounter due to some algorithm. After all, artificial intelligence did it is bound to become the new the devil made me do it, but that wasn’t it. I chose them myself, because in some strange way they’re related in my mind.

I confuse me sometimes.

The Difference Between Sailing and Jail

It’s hard to drown in jail.

Yesterday’s trawl brought in an interesting fish. Old friend Charles dropped by and enjoyed our video of the HMS Victory, rendered in animated form. In the comments, he upped the ante. Check out this amazing video of sailing around the horn on a four-masted barque in 1928. It’s narrated by the man who made it. It dwells in a land beyond amazing, really.

Towards the end, the narrator recounts an incident. The captain of the ship saw a sailor swept overboard. He ran to the stern of the ship, grabbed a line, and threw himself into the sea. That sea. As the sailor swept by, he grabbed him by his hair. Then some of the crew pulled them on board, the captain holding the line with one hand, and the guy’s hair in the other. Now get this: he did it twice. And he hushed it up, because he wasn’t supposed to leave the ship for any reason, and didn’t want to get into trouble.

By gahd we’re all nancy boys compared to our grandparents.

Month: January 2024

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