It’s the End of the World as We Know It

Man, apocalypse sells. I’d say that dystopia was all the rage in movies, teevee, and books, but that would be underselling it. There is no other topic. I’m an old hand at it. Long before R.E.M., we had this sort of thing:

Of course everyone tries their hand at the Nostradamus thing, and misses by a mile. It’s comical to watch things like Blade Runner and see how rainy Los Angeles was going to get. Everyone will have umbrellas with lights in the handles, and flying cars, but no one seems to have a cell phone in  the future, do they? Deckard’s putting coins in a payphone between flying car rides. In general, the bigger the budget for a movie, the farther off they get from the way things actually turned out. Smarter fictionistas place their space operas a thousand years in the future, so they can keep on with their silly versions of dystopia.

Eric Blair and Aldous Huxley pretty much covered all the ground required. We’d be amused or stomped into submission, one way or the other. Maybe both. They’re old hat, now. The new imaginary dystopias have women being forced to have babies, or men forced to sleep for a hundred years to reach the next interstellar gas station, because there’s no gas on Earth, natch. That’s a hardy perennial.

So the planet will be too hot or too cold, or both, or filled with the undead, or the recently dead, or the ancient dead, doing undead-like things. Reverse vampires will fight lizard people for control over the precious soylent green reserve. Whatever. It’s all kinda tedious.

The reason authors get the future so wrong is because they’re laboring under massive misconceptions about the present. Fruit of the poison tree, as it were. If they truly understood the way the world worked today, and went from there, they might have a shot. But women “forced to have babies” must be an amusing topic for a landlord who accepts Section 8 for their apartments. And the weather never does seem to have the gumption to wipe us all out. There was a wall of ice a mile high not too long ago where I’m typing this from. Weather never does seem to cooperate, coming or going.

Nuclear problems are a fave, of course. We’re all going to glow in the dark anytime now. We were promised atomic cataclysms morning, noon and night since Oppenheimer finally got ahold of Von Neumann on the blower and invented the things, but we ended up with Russians and Ukes riding dirt bikes at each other and using shotguns to shoot drones with hand grenades zip-tied to them. Oh well.

So I’ll put on my thinking cap, and stick my neck out. What’s dystopia going to look like? That’s easy. I don’t need a crystal ball, or even an imagination. I just need to visit a nursing home to ask the last people who can remember the 1950s in the Estados Unidos what life was like back in the day, and go from there:

Then I’ll ask them what a dystopia is gonna look like. I’m sure they’ll answer, unanimously: Dude, you’re living in it:

A Beautiful Home

I encountered this image on some far-flung Gymnst page. It didn’t have any notes or links associated with it, so I can’t credit it to anyone. It was labeled, simply: A Beautiful Home.

It may well be. The correct-er term for it would be a beautiful house. The noun “home” indicates something about the occupants. It could be peopled with Jack the Ripper devotees for all we know. But I doubt it. I’d have a hard time believing the denizens aren’t salubrious. By their works you shall know them, and all that.

So we’ll play it as it lays. It’s a beautiful home. Why is that?

It’s Saturday, so I’m going to give you folks the day off. I’ll answer the question. You rest. We’ll use only the information at hand, i.e., just what you see. It’s entirely possible the interior is a gray-walled, gray-floored, barn-door, modern farmhouse abomination. But I doubt that. It’s unlikely anyone who went for this style on the exterior would flip the HGTV switch and go full retard inside. So we won’t assume any facts not in evidence, your honor.

Why this house is beautiful:

Human scale:

The proportions of the entire house, and the dimensions of the components that make up the house, are based on human beings. The windows are divided into panes about the size of a person’s face, for instance. It’s a big house, but it looks like a normal family could live in it and not need walkie talkies to find each other. The wood siding is coursed in rows about the width of a man’s hand. They wanted a big entry, but they split it into two modest sized doors, instead of a big, silly one. The place looks like it was designed by and for regular human people.

Visible head:

In symmetrical architectural styles like Adam colonials, the door is located in the center of the facade, and windows are placed in identical places to their left and right. The front of the house basically becomes a head with a face. People instinctively know how to approach a house with a visible face as a cue. When the Victorians got rolling, they shifted the symmetrical rectangle idea to make a version of a pinwheel. The houses still had a face, but it was smirking. An off-center head is still a head, and this house immediately lets you know where to go and what to do when you get there. Snout house need not apply.

Proportion:

This is related to the scale of the thing. The house is massed in interesting blocks, and has a very complicated roofline. But nothing much is exaggerated. Nothing is clownish. You can kinda guess what’s going on in each part of the house by the general size of the and shape of the parts.

Color:

The colors of the house are taken from nature, and not just nature, but the local version of nature. Nothing is garish. The roof relates to the sidewalls which relates to the trim with relates to the stone which relates to the setting.

Landscaping:

Good landscaping is getting pretty rare. Houses, hardscapes, and plantings look like they’re at war with the earth. Earlier builders understood that a house could look like a scar on the land. Alien. So landscaping was used to properly soften the join between the structure and the ground. This house does it very well. There’s a gentle transition from the earth to the house, and pots on the stairs and the plants creeping up the walls blur the difference between hardscape and landscape and the house itself.

Texture:

The stonework is coursed ashlar or something similar. It’s gathered into straight buttresses and bands along the foundation line, but still displays a variegated texture that lends interest. The shingled walls look like shakes in the picture. The roof looks like individual pieces lying side by side with their neighbors, not a monolithic sheet of stuff.

Rhythm:

The windows are ganged into rows instead of big, gaping sheets of glass. The walk is flagstone that repeats itself in a jazz motif. The steps have a tempo. The house is composed, not just put together.

Style:

This doesn’t look like an old house to me. It’s a revival of a revival, I’ll bet. Perhaps it’s a Richardson Romanesque Revival Revival. It’s got steeply pitched gable roofs, stone banding, stone buttresses, stone chimneys, a jerkinhead roof, and rounded arches here and there.

There are rules to building in a style like this. The designer used the rules in an original way, and delivered something that strangers on the intertunnel would call beautiful.

Things have changed. Designers now start with the idea that there shouldn’t be any rules, so they can do anything they want. That’s why most everything built in the last thirty years or so is an abomination. And the only original things about a house are the way each one is worse than the last one. Oh well. I hope you can find a beautiful house of your own. Or maybe make one out of a not-so beautiful one. I’ve tried that a bit, and it’s funner.

Subversion. You’re Really Going To Have To Learn It

Full frontal assaults are for HBO softcore miniseries now, not for productive entertainment, political, or social action. You’re not going to get anywhere charging at the media machine guns. What you’re going to have to learn is subversion. When the front door is locked, go around the side and jiggle the back door knob and see if some of the windows are unlocked. Once you’re inside, you can make changes, usually while no one is the wiser that you’re doing it.

This is how it’s done:

I have some bad news. This is going to require talent wedded to effort as a prerequisite. The Turtles had that in spades. The connected kids can be made famous before they know how to even turn on the machines, but you’re probably going to work tirelessly in obscurity for a long while, and submit to multiple humiliations along the way. But once you hotwire the car, you can drive it in any direction you want.

The Turtles were immensely talented. They were also immensely weird, in the squarest way possible. They weren’t going to get a record deal with a big company. So they signed with the obscure White Whale label. That at least put them in the henhouse. They were originally called The Crossfires, and played surf music, because it had been popular up until then. It was fading fast. So they changed their name and started recording Sunshine Pop songs like Happy Together and the magnificently jolly  She’d Rather Be With Me.


But Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman wanted to write their own songs. Happy Together and She’d Rather Be With Me were written by Alan Gordon and Gary Bonner. Their fly-by-night record company had struck gold with the Turtles covers, and didn’t want the Turtles to write their own material. So the Turtles decided to subvert the situation by writing and recording a parody of Happy Together. Howard Kaylan remembered it like this:

Elenore was a parody of “Happy Together.” It was never intended to be a straight-forward song. It was meant as an anti-love letter to White Whale [Records], who were constantly on our backs to bring them another “Happy Together.” So I gave them a very skewed version. Not only with the chords changed, but with all these bizarre words. It was my feeling that they would listen to how strange and stupid the song was and leave us alone. But they didn’t get the joke. They thought it sounded good. Truthfully, though, the production on “Elenore” WAS so damn good. Lyrically or not, the sound of the thing was so positive that it worked. It certainly surprised me.

The Turtles got tired of White Whale’s shenanigans, and disbanded. The record company retaliated by claiming that not only did they own the Turtle’s back catalog, they also owned Kaylan and Volman’s names.

Kaylan and Volman were old hands at subversion at this point. They changed their name to Flo and Eddie, and went into session work. White Whale went out of business. Flo and Eddie bought all their stuff back at the bankruptcy auction.

Subversion, people. Look into it.

And Now For Something Completely Different: The Tuesday Trash Day Roundup Thingie

It’s easy for someone who has written 3,242 blogposts to suspect he might be repeating himself now and then. I suppose the 16,829 comments may be repetitive here and there, too. So instead of re-inventing the wheel, I’m going to let Monty Python comment on the news roundup today. They probably don’t repeat themselves as often as I do, and besides, MY BRAIN HURTS:

Earth has caught a ‘second moon,’ scientists say

The fact that asteroid 2024 PT5 will stick around for just a few weeks, as opposed to billions of years, isn’t the only major difference between this “mini-moon” and the actual moon.

So remember when you’re feeling very small and insecure, how amazingly unlikely is your birth. And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up in space, ’cause there’s bugger all down here on Earth!

A tiny town just got slammed by Helene. It could massively disrupt the tech industry

To make both semiconductors and solar panels, companies need crucibles and other equipment that both can withstand extraordinarily high heat and be kept absolutely clean. One material fits the bill: quartz. Pure quartz. Quartz that comes, overwhelmingly, from Spruce Pine.

The mill’s closed. There’s no more work. We’re destitute. I’m afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments.

Red team hacker on how she ‘breaks into buildings and pretends to be the bad guy’

Despite the buzz around AI-assisted social engineering and deepfakes, human conversations — over the phone, electronically, or in-person — are still the most commonly used, and most effective, social engineering tactics for crooks looking to make money off of their victims.

It’s nothing very special. Try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.

Dockworkers at ports from Maine to Texas go on strike

The strike will likely have an almost immediate impact on supplies of perishable imports like bananas, for example. The ports affected by the strike handle 3.8 million metric tons of bananas each year, or 75% of the nation’s supply, according to the American Farm Bureau Federation.

Now, it’s quite simple to defend yourself against the banana fiend. First of all, you force him to drop the banana, next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless

Franklin expedition captain who died in 1848 was cannibalized by survivors

“Concrete evidence of James Fitzjames as the first identified victim of cannibalism lifts the veil of anonymity that for 170 years spared the families of individual members of the 1845 Franklin expedition from the horrific reality of what might have befallen the body of their ancestor,” the authors wrote in their paper. “But it also shows that neither rank nor status was the governing principle in the final desperate days of the expedition as they strove to save themselves.”

Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we’ll have Johnson cold for supper.

FDA Approves Drug with New Mechanism of Action for Treatment of Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia can cause psychotic symptoms including hallucinations (such as hearing voices), difficulty controlling one’s thoughts and being suspicious of others. It can also be associated with cognitive problems and difficulty with social interactions and motivation. About 1% of Americans have this illness and globally it is one of the 15 leading causes of disability. Individuals with schizophrenia are at greater risk of dying at a younger age, and nearly 5% die by suicide.

My brain hurts!

Oh, it will have to come out!

Here’s what happened when Ford tried to react to the Volkswagen Beetle.

More accurately, they didn’t like the small cars American automakers offered. They did like the ones being imported from Europe. New foreign car registrations in the US ballooned from 12,000 units in 1949 to 207,000 by 1957 and were projected to reach 625,000 by 1961 before falling to 495,000 in 1963. By 1959, even Studebaker noticed and launched the compact Lark. Its sales proved popular enough to reverse its slow slide to oblivion momentarily.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

AI bots now beat 100% of those traffic-image CAPTCHAs

Anyone who has been surfing the web for a while is probably used to clicking through a CAPTCHA grid of street images, identifying everyday objects to prove that they’re a human and not an automated bot. Now, though, new research claims that locally run bots using specially trained image-recognition models can match human-level performance in this style of CAPTCHA, achieving a 100 percent success rate despite being decidedly not human.

We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally more irritating.

Study: Cats in little crocheted hats shed light on feline chronic pain

Our feline overlords aren’t particularly known for obeying commands from mere humans, which can make it difficult to study their behaviors in controlled laboratory settings. So a certain degree of ingenuity is required to get usable results—like crocheting adorable little hats for kitties taking part in electroencephalogram (EEG) experiments. That’s what researchers at the University of Montreal in Quebec, Canada, did to learn more about assessing chronic pain in cats—and they succeeded. According to their recent paper published in the Journal of Neuroscience Methods, it’s the first time scientists have recorded the electrical activity in the brains of conscious cats.

I’m afraid I’m not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.

Month: October 2024

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