We Need To Find This Website Designer And Study Their Brain

I’d always done my own website design until I broke down and bought an out-of-the-box design for The Rumford Meteor. Like many things, I’m simultaneously ashamed and proud of my efforts. My question about all such matters is: could you do more with less? I doubt it. That’s the context for everything in this world. People with every advantage in this world think they’re a Horatio Alger bootblack. Perhaps I’ve found a person more constrained than Marley’s ghost, and this is the best they can do. But I have my doubts.

I was redirected to this website, looking for what must be a defunct business now. And by gad, what a spot I happened upon. It’s the eighth circle of website design, and I’ve discovered it. Now if I could only figure out what “Teddy Bear mold” is. It sounds like leprosy for toys.

Read Sippican Cottage. There’ll Be Some Papers You’ll Have To Sign

*No purchase necessary. Some assembly required. Tax, title,license and dealer fees extra. Do not exceed 4 doses in a 24-hour period. You will get wet on this ride. One size fits most. Batteries not included. The white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no parking in the red zone. Dramatization. Proof of mailing does not constitute proof of delivery. Shake well before opening. Contains eggs. Also available left-handed. Before posting, please take a minute to review our posting rules and our legal/privacy policy. All lyrics by Hammerstein, not Rodgers. Hours may vary by location. No smoking or open flames. Professional driver. Closed course. Any similarities between the characters, locations or events depicted herein and actual persons, living or dead, locations or events is purely coincidental and unintentional. Use as directed. Must be 18 to enter. Positive identification required. Handle with care. Do not pass on right. Not responsible for lost or stolen articles. User assumes all risks. No right turn on red. If you can read this, you’re too close. Ass, grass, or cash; no one rides for free. Occupancy by more than 135 persons is dangerous and unlawful but kinda fun. Interior is genuine rich, Corinthian leather. Viewer discretion is advised but not anticipated. Not available in stores. Do not feed the animals. Available for Windows, Mac, and the seven people running Linux. 70% cotton, 30% nylon. Nos falamos Portugues. Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. The cake is a lie. Limit one per customer per visit. No trespassing. No loitering. No soliciting. Please don’t eat the daisies. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Ensure equipment is properly grounded prior to operation. Registration required. Not recommended for women who are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant. Ladies drink free. Apply directly to forehead. Closed Sundays and holidays. Filmed before a live studio audience. Available only for a limited time. Follow the yellow brick road. Lights on for safety. Made in China. Do not use as a flotation device. Stay off the grass. Offer void where prohibited. Installation extra. The rain in Spain should be expected to fall mainly on the plain. All sales final. Two-Year service agreement required. Non-toxic. HTML enabled. Don’t try this at home. Your ad here. Tamper-resistant packaging. Expect delays. Refrigerate after opening. Restrictions apply. See store for details. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Have a nice day.

Guedelon, Little Bench Doggies

Some people who don’t mind purple thumbnails and singed eyebrows are building a castle using only medieval tools and techniques in the middle of France. Should only take about terty-forty years. Call me when you need some furniture, you magnificent loons.

Click the picture for a video tour and in-depth website

I’m From The Past [2008, actually] And I’m Here To Help

I was reading Essays In Idleness by Kenko. He was dead in 1350. I am many strains of people, but it’s all European. Europe was nothing in 1350. If you were a betting man back then, you’d have bet on Asia. You’d have bet wrong.

So the Black Death is raging around Europe and the Japanese are writing in a style called zuihitsu — just follow the brush. The brush being the stylus of choice there and then. Kenko read Sei Shonagon, the cranky broad from my masthead, same as me. And the personal essay is tie that binds us.

I hate the term: blog. It’s ugly, and it’s come to mean something even uglier than the sound of it. It’s become the minor leagues of hate. I write personal essays here. Zuihitsu. It might not be noble, but a person has little to offer to others but knowledge of which they are sure. “I am an expert in the affairs of all men” is the banner of the professional politician and their toads. Not hardly.

Why am I wandering in the few moments between exhaustion and sleep in the dusty stacks of an alien culture dead and buried for seven hundred years? To find a kindred spirit. They’re in short supply on the DIY network, after all.

A house, I know, is a temporary abode, but how delightful it is to find one that has harmonious proportions and a pleasant atmosphere. One feels somehow that even moonlight, when it shines into the quiet domicile of a person of taste, is more affecting than elsewhere. A house though it may not be in the current fashion or elaborately decorated, will appeal to us by its unassuming beauty– a grove of trees with an indefinably ancient look; a garden where plants, growing of their own accord, have a special charm; a verandah and an open-work wooden fence of interesting construction’ and a few personal effects left carelessly lying about, giving the place an air of having been lived in. A house which multitudes of workmen have polished with every care, where strange and rare Chinese and Japanese furnishings are displayed, and even the grasses and trees of the garden have been trained unnaturally, is ugly to look at and most depressing. How could anyone live for long in such a place?

You can’t. I have never been in a hotel room as comfortable and pleasant as my own bedroom, and I have been in Presidential Suites before. Money can’t fix the problem, and the availability of money without the governor of a framework of rules to expend it almost always makes things worse.

Our post-modern zeitgeist evangelizes that rules of any sort that govern personal behaviors or the appearance of our surroundings or entertainment are stultifying and worthy only of mindless opposition. The unthinking rejection of all tradition leads to a counterintuitive outcome: a set of rules, much more stringent than what they replaced, will replace the old ones, and they will consist of the worst possible alternative to what was there before.

How else can I explain nailing your house onto the ass end of your garage? How else can I explain a Japanese man writing about my house, and the house you should be living in, in the fourteenth century?

Month: July 2010

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