That’s not a hairdo. That’s architecture. Call in an expert. Send out for a consultant. Get Moses in here. He’ll turn down the contract. “You want me to part that guy’s hair? I’ve only done small jobs, like the Red Sea. I don’t think I’m up for this.” You’ve never heard of Luis Miguel. He’s the “Latin Frank Sinatra,” which is a compliment, I guess. His agent can sell 250,000 tickets to see him in Mexico City just by whispering the concert dates out of his mail slot at 4 AM on any given Sunday morning, but that’s no reason

Can’t help but think of Miles’ On the Corner album when I hear jazz wah. Why yes, I spent my formative years listening to Miles Davis electrofunk and Steely Dan records. It would have been a lonely four years of high school if I had actually attended. The secret to not attending high school and not getting caught is being sick on the first day of freshman year, tearing up the note your mother wrote, and then writing  your own. Then, every time you ditch school, you write your own note. The human-manatee hybrid behind the desk in the administrator’s