Pilgram? Yikes, no one can spell anything anymore.
Clarence and Roland White. Reader and commenter Rob de Witt sent this one along, and he has the thanks of a small portion of a grateful nation. So he’s got that going for him.
-Gimme a pack a luckies and a Traveler, Sonny.
-Sure thing, Tom.
-Weather ain’t cooperatin’.
-Sit on the bench over there and read the paper. I’ll make joe. No sense tryin’ to drive west in the snow.
-I’ll see if the thieves in the State House are robbin’ me or botherin’ me today.
-If that’s all they’re doin’, they must be sleepin’ in.
-It’s good we got a Catholic in the corner office for an accomplice, anyway. The Curley ain’t Robin Hood, but he’ll do. Got my brother a job on the highway.
-I heard about that highway. Fell in, didn’t it?
-The man’s got the gift, he does, you’ve got to give it to him. They shoved their snoots and pencils in his face and said: The overpass collapsed, and your friend built it. What do you got to say about that…
-Oh, they’ll have to try harder than that…
-As God is my witness, Sonny, he says: “It was an injudicious mixture of sand and cement.” And the damn fool reporter just writes it down!
-What does he care what he puts in his paper? I’d rather read the Blarney, anyway. More interesting than the truth.
-And truer than the truth, maybe.
-Absotively.
-God, I lived in the City when The Curley was mayor. What a scream. The Great War breaks out and a Britisher comes and calls at the City Hall and asks for permission to try and enlist Bostonians of British descent to fight the Kaiser.
-And The Curley?
-“Go ahead; take every damn one of them.”
Asstoot reader and commenter Andy has guessed the who in the Whose House. It’s my house. I bought it on Wednesday. His beautiful daughter already brushes her teeth using a Ten Finger Stepper, but he can bestow his prize on some other lucky person I’m sure. I’ve been the Johnny Appleseed of steppers for a while now; I’m the Paul Bunyan of Maine now as well. That’s me in the picture.
Today we have the seventeenth entry in our ongoing series: Whose House is This? This one is pretty obscure, so we’ll start off with a hint: Not a politician this time. A well-regarded author.
[Update: This one seems to have my “astoot” readers stumped. So let’s up the ante. Guess Whose House, and win a free Super Ten Finger Stepper from Sippican Cottage Furniture, in your choice of colors. You can guess as many times as you like, but only one name per comment, please]
Whose House?
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