We Nurse Them With Acetylene And Ultraviolet Light

SPANNERS
by: Sippican Cottage

Sun’s beaming in the window,
There’s rumbling from the floor,
We’re rollicking and pulsing
Boxes dancing out the door.

Oh how our muscles ripple,
We’re making twenty knots,
We’re alternating; current —
We’re glowing with the watts.

Pounding down the corridors,
With Bills of Lading, piled;
Our output’s put the boss on ice
We’re blowing out the dials.

They count the beans but can’t keep up,
We’re cooking with the gas;
Our arms are made from tempered steel,
Our heart is made of brass.

That brass is rolled to make a tube,
The tube is bent just so;
And when we blow that trumpet, Jack,
The girls get all aglow.

The whistle blows at five o’clock,
It’s twenty-three skidoo;
The guys and gals that made that stuff,
Go out for dancing too.

They box the compass of the steps
Then swing from chandeliers;
They leave the clerks there in the lurch
Then kick it up a gear.

They pound the floor into the ground,
They swing and then they sway;
They’d drink to all their troubles,
But they’ve long since gone away.

They close the places late at night,
And walk beneath the stars;
Arm in arm, exchanging charms
One’s Venus, one is Mars.

Mighty children spring from them,
To keep the flame alight;
They nurse them with acetylene,
And ultra-violet light.

They grow some whiskers when they’re old,
And sit down for a spell;
Their Ercoles will take their place,
And raise a little hell.

My Sons Can Learn Music Faster Than Anyone That Can Learn It Better

So yesterday, reader Dave left a message for my boys on The Drummer’s Only Nine And He’s Gone Hollywood On Us Already:

If they played requests and took Paypal they could make money right now
$20 for “Everybody Talks” by Neon Trees

Dave, who isn’t kidding

Well, my boys have always been instructed to come home with their shield, or on it. Here ya go:

Well, there you go. The boys are homeschooled, and they practice in a room with no heat or permanent electricity. They made the video themselves, using only the ambient mike on a flip camera and Windows Movie Maker on an old computer. I’ve added a Tip Jar to the top of the right hand column, serviced by Google. All you need is a credit card and an email address. [ Updated: Due to overwhelming demand, we’ve added a PayPal option] Who wants to give them a few bucks to buy some proper musical equipment, or perhaps a hundred-watt lightbulb? The widget auto-fills five bucks. Give what you like.

The original, serviceable, but somewhat inferior version by the Neon Trees, if you’re interested.

The True Story Of Spam

Has a whiff of Wikipedia on it. Truthy. Reconstituted fact product. Information Helper. Oh, well; when in doubt, print the legend.

Tag: mashups I wish I made

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