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In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: The Derangers

There’s a growing movement.

But never mind about my bathroom habits. I wanna talk about my mission –obsession, really — to make Wichita Lineman the National Anthem of the Intertunnel. See, I just named it that. I don’t know why I did that. It’s Kismet, or Astral projection, or yoga or hara kiri or some other exotic word drunk people use in conversation between belches. It’s fit, and just, and it just fits:

THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF THE INTERTUNNELS

I was thinking of changing the lyric, but I hear you singing in the series of tubes ruins the Ionic Pentacost, or the Ironic Pantograph, or the Iambic Pulsifer, or whatever you call those word thingies that Lord Byline and Sir Walter Scott Towels use to make the rhymie words line up .

Also Sprach Sippican: In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Sergio Mendes and Brasil ’66 

Anteceded by: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: The Swinging Doors

Aforetimes: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Optiganally Yours 

Previously: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Glenn Tilbrook 

Also Sprach Sippican: Another In The Long List Of Songs I Don’t Like That I Like   

In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: You Mix A Hell Of A Caucasian, Jackie, Version

One is torn between grudging admiration for the fake harmonica sounds, and plain awe at the addition of a glockenspiel, evidently played with the feet, to the whole spiel. Roy from The IT Crowd sings pretty good, too. Like so many things in life, it’s either genius — or it isn’t.

Dad’s appearance at 3:11 showcases the essential utility of the song. Wichita Lineman is not too old, or too square, to have lost pop music’s only essential value: to drive your parents up the wall.

You must remember this: In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Sergio Mendes and Brasil ’66

Anteceded by: In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: The Swinging Doors

Aforetimes: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Optiganally Yours 

Previously: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Glenn Tilbrook 

Also Sprach Sippican: Another In The Long List Of Songs I Don’t Like That I Like  

In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Sergio Mendes and Brasil ’66

Wichita Lineman is playing in the elevator to cool. Of course, the cable has broken, and the car is rocketing down the shaft on the way to Beelzebub’s Lounge, but my points stands. Don’t forget to jump just before the car reaches the bottom.

Is Sergio Mendes the least cool hip person ever, or is he the least hip cool person extant, or what? Of course persons of a certain vintage never complain about Sergio’s records, because without them their parents would never have gotten jiggy in the first place and brought them into this benighted world.

Oh the chin strap beard; the corduroy coats; the polyester tunics on the willowy sorta-singers; a blast of pink Qiana shirt cuff as Sergio himself tinkles all over the piano; the grim, low-bidder hairdos.

Is that… it can’t be… It is! It’s a stairway to heaven in the background!

Which lets you know exactly where you’ve ended up.

Anteceded by: In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: The Swinging Doors

Aforetimes: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Optiganally Yours 

Previously: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Glenn Tilbrook 

Also Sprach Sippican: Another In The Long List Of Songs I Don’t Like That I Like  

In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: The Swinging Doors

We’re bad. But we’re not just nationwide. We’re global now.

We are legion. And we are determined to make Wichita Lineman the song that’s played by the band in the corner at the dive bar, on the juke box at the pizzeria, and played during time outs at football games and water polo matches alike. I want it tastefully arranged with strings and French horn, murmuring from crummy overhead speakers in elevators in Kuala Lumpur, even though I hate French horn and I’m glad they make them shove their hand in there to try to smother the sound.  I want gas pumps to play Wichita Lineman. High School marching bands. I want it to become the opening riff of a Windows start, and an Apple shutdown. I want Lady Gaga to cover it because she’s afraid not to. 

And be warned: I’m gonna come looking for first person that makes a “Rineman” joke, and not with binoculars, either.

Aforetimes: In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Optiganally Yours 

Previously: In
Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It
The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Glenn Tilbrook 

Also Sprach Sippican: Another In The Long List Of Songs I Don’t Like That I Like

In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Optiganally Yours

Fonkee. Better bass playing than most versions. I get the impression from all the audio spackle that the vocalist couldn’t sing at gunpoint, or perhaps is singing at gunpoint, but a song with legs carries one along with it, doesn’t it?

Previously: In Furtherance Of My Evil Plan To Resurrect Wichita Lineman And Make It The Official Cover Song Of The Twenty-Teens: Glenn Tilbrook 

Also Sprach Sippican: Another In The Long List Of Songs I Don’t Like That I Like

Tag: wichita lineman

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