Italian Negotiating

-Excuse me, sir.
-Not now, kid; I’m busy.
-Please, sir. Won’t take but a minute.
-Time is wastin’ junior; whaddya want?
-I want to join your carnival, sir.
-Souls in hell want icewater, kid.
-I can do something spectacular.
-You look like the short end of nothing, sharpened, kid. I need to attract the eyeballs.
-I can do a stunt.
-What could you possibly do?
-I could dive off a thirty foot ladder into my mother’s washtub half full of water.
-Kid, if you could do that, I’d pay you a hundred a week.
-Just watch me…

-Kid, if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I never would have believed it. That was fantastic. I’m a man of my word. A hundred a week it is.
-Nope.
-A hundred and fifty.
-Nope.
-One seventy-five.
-Nope.
-Look kid, you’re backsliding on me. What’s the idea of holding me up for more money when we had a deal fair and square from the get-go?
-Oh, no sir; it’s not that. It’s just that I never tried it before, and I didn’t really like it.

Five Second Films

A man’s gotta know his limitations. Five seconds to be funny or get out.

(Mildly vulgar here and there with some salty language)

Hilaridad Ensues

My son the loon was required to produce a commercial for an imaginary restaurant of his own invention. In Spanish. I cannot recommend having a mouthful of coffee while pressing the play button.

Tag: funnies

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