Sippican Cottage

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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

Italian Negotiating

-Excuse me, sir.
-Not now, kid; I’m busy.
-Please, sir. Won’t take but a minute.
-Time is wastin’ junior; whaddya want?
-I want to join your carnival, sir.
-Souls in hell want icewater, kid.
-I can do something spectacular.
-You look like the short end of nothing, sharpened, kid. I need to attract the eyeballs.
-I can do a stunt.
-What could you possibly do?
-I could dive off a thirty foot ladder into my mother’s washtub half full of water.
-Kid, if you could do that, I’d pay you a hundred a week.
-Just watch me…

-Kid, if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I never would have believed it. That was fantastic. I’m a man of my word. A hundred a week it is.
-A hundred and fifty.
-One seventy-five.
-Look kid, you’re backsliding on me. What’s the idea of holding me up for more money when we had a deal fair and square from the get-go?
-Oh, no sir; it’s not that. It’s just that I never tried it before, and I didn’t really like it.

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