The New Year’s Resolution Sentence Fragment List

• I promise to quit drinking
• At two ‘o clock this morning
• Maybe three
• I pledge to eat healthier
• Candy
• Not after I drop them
• I’ll be sure to set aside more “me time”
• But enough about me
• What do you think about me?
• I’m gonna build a better credit score
• Not for my lenders of course
• I’ll teach them patience
• I’ve decided to donate a kidney
• Maybe two
• Not mine, pfffft
• I predict I’ll lose twenty pounds
• It takes willpower, you know
• To invest in British bonds
• I promise to stop shirking
• By mentioning my bad back
• And complain about my bad front instead
• I will no doubt learn a new language
• Maybe two
• Standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles
• I swear I’ll stop swearing
• Ah shit
• I meant a goddamned vow
• I promise to volunteer to help others
• And scold anyone who objects
• And calls it looting
• And I take an oath
• To stop writing and talking
• Like Christopher Walken