If You Make Things, You Are My Brother: Manny Avalos

I need you to get past the production values of this video.

Videos made in this fashion are manipulative. They become propaganda. The music is chosen to provoke sentiment without meaning. The slow tracking shots are meant to manufacture interest in mundane tableaus. A voice-over lends senatorial gravity to banal utterances. Put the method aside.

Manny is an interesting person. Manny is an interesting person whether or not there’s a camera dolly involved. I can, however, assure you that you probably wouldn’t think Manny was an interesting person unless he showed up in four minutes of pixels on your iThing. Manny could work in his garage for twenty years and not one of the neighbors or their kids would be the slightest bit interested in what he’s doing. An invitation to see his workshop would be met with a slightly panic-stricken look and a dissembling, “I’ve got this thing in Van Nuys in a half an hour…”. Manny probably wouldn’t care. He isn’t a docent in the museum of Manny. He wants to make guitars.

What Manny is talking about in the video is profound only because it should be quotidian, but isn’t anymore. He’s talking about being connected with other people. He wants to make a guitar so that other people can use it to make music to entertain and delight still more people. He feels connected to the world at large by his own solitary efforts. He admits he found the construction of the guitar interesting for its own sake, but he understands that his interest is pointless unless it serves others.

The bit of text appended to the video makes some bold claims about Manny that I don’t want or need to investigate. They call him a “Renaissance man,” incorrectly, I imagine. It’s the sort of term people with ironic beards and stovepipe pants enjoy using, but don’t really understand.

If I had to guess, I’d imagine that Manny is a retired schoolteacher of some sort, and has taken an interest in his fellow man every day of his 89-year-old life in one way or another. Not the sort of interest that takes the form of ruling them for their own good, either. He has been a productive and pleasant person for so long that he doesn’t know how to be anything else.

The United States, in my lifetime, was chock-a-block full of people just like Manny. Now it’s full of people with camera dollies and ring lights, hunting around for the last Manny on Earth so they can stuff him and display him.

Beech Hill, Rockport, Maine

I don’t live anywhere near Beech Hill in Rockport, Maine. I know you flatlanders think all Mainers must know each other, so everyone must have been everywhere else, but Maine is the same size as Ireland, and twice as likely to urge you to drunkenness, so there’s plenty of places I haven’t been.

A “flatlander” is someone that doesn’t live in Maine, if you’re wondering. If it makes you feel any better, Mainahs still call me a flatlander, too, because I’ve only lived here for six years or so. As far as Mainahs are concerned, I’m not frum round heah, and never will be. They try that flatlander shite on my wife, who casually mentions she looked everywhere for them in Maine in 1970 when she first lived here, but didn’t notice them about, and they leave her be. At least they don’t call us Massholes anymore. We’re not half bad for flatlanders, I tell you what, they’ll at least allow.

It would be worse if they called us straphangers. A straphanger is way, way down the totem pole of disrepute from a simple flatlander. A straphanger is an urban flatlander. They’re the worst. The last person from New Yawk City that Mainers could stand was E.B. White, I think. If you’re ever in Maine on a cold, dreary winter’s night, which you can enjoy in either early June or late September, and you’re huddled around the campfire while the locals wear flip-flops and jorts, ask them what they think about straphangers. Wait until they have four or five Lewiston Martinis in them. A Lewiston Martini is Allen’s Coffee Brandy mixed with milk. I think it’s called a Trailer Park Love Potion in some zip codes, but can’t testify to that with any surety, your honor. Of course more discerning palates imbibe Burnt Trailers, which is Moxie and Coffee Brandy. Moxie is Maine’s own brand of soda, which tastes like Socrates’ backwash. Don’t confuse a Burnt Trailer with a Welfare Mom, which is coffee brandy and Diet Moxie. It’s an entirely different vibe.

Anyway, if you were going to hunt straphangers anywhere in Maine, you’d drizzle Hoboken hobo urine on traps in and around Rockport. That’s the sort of Downeast place where whales on your pants won’t get you into any scrapes. Out west where I am, it’s all cowboy hats and feed caps, and everyone listens to country music. I’ve seen more stars and bars flags here in western Maine than I saw when I drove from South Carolina to Arizona. Western Mainahs like doin’ what they’re not supposeta. They don’t mean anything by it. They don’t really mean anything by anything as far as I can tell.

I can tell the video is from a part of Maine where the flatlanders haven’t been overfished yet. Beech Hill in Rockport is a Land Trust. Flatlanders and straphangers love that shite. There’s nothing and nobody in Maine. It’s completely empty and filled with trees, but you never know, I guess. The state is the size of Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Vermont, and New Hampshire put together, and about a million and a quarter souls live here, but somehow a patch of grass and a house with a lawn on the roof needs a Land Trust to protect it from becoming a trailer park overnight.

Watching the video, I know the land trust straphangers are losing ground to the hicks without knowing it. The background music is banjos.

Month: November 2015

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