I told you no Stairway to Heaven – Page 2

I Told You. No Stairway To Heaven

July 17, 2011 9 Comments

Most mornings I wake up my older son by barging into his bedroom and playing Stairway To Heaven. Badly.

I never really cared for STH. I never cared enough about it to loathe it, either. I caution my Intertunnel friends that becoming completely, monomaniacally interested in persons and things you dislike will make you crazy, and make you seem so to others, to the detriment of your original cause. Remember the words of the prophet Lebowski: You’re not wrong, Walter; you’re just an ***hole.

Anyhow, I made my son learn it, and I learned it at the same time to make sure he did. It’s a terrific running joke at our house. He’s a proper teenager, and always asleep when he’s not lying around. He opens one eye and glares at me most satisfactorily while I hack away at it. He used to hate it for its own sake, but now he hates to hear me do it because it’s irritating to hear me slog through it, as he can bang it out effortlessly.

I promise not to get any better at it, son.

I’d Like My Own Personal Blimp, Please

May 10, 2011 6 Comments

Ah, great to see the Boston Globe has decided to quit the newspaper business and attempt the “Garrison Keillor-on-Seconals-and-bourbon-NPR-style-mumbling-over-grainy-video” method of disseminating information. It’s the wave of the future, I hear.

Anyway, the makers of the object of my desire, Skyacht, who seem about as organized, efficient, and businesslike as rodeo clowns, say they’d be nifty for “such things as eco-tourism and forest canopy research”.

I was thinking more of looming over my adversaries and tormentors and mercilessly raining fire and death and destruction down on them from the heavens like some crazed Jupiter, accompanied by a cadre of leggy henchwomen in leather Mrs. Peel jumpsuits.

Did I just say that out loud? I meant I want one for eco-tourism. No, really.

There Are Only Two Bands I Wish I Was In. There Were About Two Dozen I Was In And Wished I Wasn’t

April 1, 2011 9 Comments

Leningrad Cowboys:

Legion of Rock Stars:

I Told You Before. NO STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

November 10, 2010 1 Comment

This band needs a nom de plume. Hmm, the eighties.

Frank Zappelin. Orchestral Maneouvres In The Ditch. A Flock of Goateegulls. The Alien Persons Project. Bob Sagan & The Salver Billet-Doux Bund. Bruce Stingspleen. The Commode Ores. Cyndi Leper. David Lee Wroth. Depest Mode. Any Money. Fine Young Cannonballs.

I know.

Frankie Goes to Houses of the Holyweird.

Sippican Cottage