Sing Flat, Look Sharp

Texas Troubadours, indeed. Plenty of heavy hitters in that band. But Buddy Emmons, holy shit. Ernie Tubb was an impresario. If you’re a musician, you might be familiar with this sort of fellow. You can’t quite put your finger on their talent. Can’t really sing or play well enough to stand out. Not exactly Cary Grantish either.

Tubb was not known to possess the most adept voice: he always sang flat and actually mocked his own singing. He told an interviewer that 95% of the men in bars would hear his music on the juke box and say to their girlfriends, “I can sing better than him,” and Tubb added they would be right.

But somehow or another they end up with ten guys with way more talent working for them. I guess that’s the talent. Getting the gigs is the supreme skill. And a lot of those kinds of guys turn a taciturn, smiling face to the public, but are slightly more, ahem, serious in their private affairs.

In 1957, he walked into the lobby of the National Life Building in Nashville in the early morning hours and fired a .357 magnum, intending to shoot music producer Jim Denny. Instead, Tubb mistakenly shot at WSM news director, Bill Williams, as he was walking in to work. Luckily, Tubb barely missed (twice) before realizing he had shot at the wrong man. He was arrested and charged with public drunkenness.

Ernie Tubb is one of those guys that becomes larger than life. A country Santa Claus. I swear he was born looking fifty-five years old, but in return, the heavens decreed he would never look much older, either. He appeared on the Grand Ole Opry long after he had the chart hits to make it inevitable. He set up shop down the street with an eponymous record store, and hosted his own show, the Midnite Jamboree, right from the middle of the record stacks.

People just liked him. Sometimes it’s a simple as that.

Rag Rug Eclectic

The String Cheese Incident performing on Austin City Limits, I do believe. That was a good show to watch when you were a musician and got up late the morning after a gig. The video is 18 years old. The performance might be even older, who knows? Useful information is in short supply on ToYoube, generally.

That’s some fonkee whathaveyou. There’s some fun George Bensoning about four minutes in. The guy is a terrific player, and nice, relaxed singer, ain’t he? Audiences are unduly impressed when guitarists scat sing along with their solos. I was never much of a guitar player, but I’ve always found it harder not to grunt along with solos than to shut the hell up. I’ve found that it’s deuced difficult to sing scat while playing the trombone, though. Almost as difficult as playing cello in a marching band.

Dude’s got a beautiful guitar, too. I can’t pinpoint the maker. It’s koa wood, semi-hollowbody, and looks like it’s a short scale. Such questions vex me. The drummer is lefty, which also always freaks me out to watch. If you really need some disorienting drumming, you can watch old Fabulous Thunderbirds videos. Fran Christina is left-handed, but plays what’s called open grip, I think. He plays a right-handed set, but hits the hi-hat with his left hand, and the snare with his right. He was one of several Rhode Island guys that ended up in Austin.

The String Cheese Incident is still touring around, if you’re interested. I gather many people are. They’re from a genre I call Rag Rug Eclectic. Whenever I see bare feet and grandma’s carpets on the stage, I know I’m gonna get Jazz Odyssey or Groove Thang Omnibus or Whipping Post Deluxe or Grateful Dead Gloss, only longer. It’s generally just good time music for leisure spots like ski areas, beaches, festivoos, and multi-level marketing conventions. I’ve played all those places back when I was a musician. We were never that successful, however, because our grandma had tile floors, and we had to wear shoes.