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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

Litttle Known Fact:

Although he was only twelve at the time, the US government discussed dropping James Brown on Japan. They decided the damage would be too severe and dialed it back to atomic weapons. After the war, in a vain attempt to avoid abruptly changing the Earth’s rotation, they tried dividing him up into sections and shipping him over in a convoy of superfreighters. The fallout was still immense. The background radiation still glows there:

Another little know fact: Reactionary elements of the US government demanded that James Brown be dressed in a suit fashioned from a checked tablecloth, in a futile attempt to make him unattractive to American housewives tired of cooking meal after meal and setting their tables –thereby keeping James Brown from getting all the women.

They suspended this practice when James Brown served a fourteen course meal on his shirtfront — including mashed potatoes — while dancing — including mashed potatoes — and did not spill a drop of the beverages.

It could not be independently verified that the glasses of water were turned into wine, however.

3 Responses

  1. A good friend of mine was lucky enough to see James Brown perform on his 50th birthday at a now-defunct club in Detroit.

  2. James Brown is the most famous person I have ever met, (in NYC!) well, maybe, LBJ is more famous, but far less funky!

    And I am funkier for having done so!

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