This is a Minuteman ICBM, on its way somewhere with its cargo of canned sunshine:

ICBM of course an acronym for Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. It’s called a Minuteman because it’s got solid fuel in the rumble seat instead of liquid propellant. You’d have to fill up the tank just before launch if it relied on liquid fuel, and you’d feel pretty silly getting an incoming missile on top of your head, what with you standing there with the gas pump nozzle in your hand.

America has three kinds of ICBMs. Minutemen missiles are the land-based leg of the stool. Trident submarines are loaded up with missiles, and skulk around the world’s oceans waiting for Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman to agree to turn the keys at the same time. Bombers carrying nuclear weapons are the third leg.

Minutemen are old tech. They’ve been in service since 1962. They got upgraded to deliver multiple warheads from the same missile in the ’70s. They’re due to be replaced by something else ghastly in 2030. I wouldn’t stand on one leg and hold my breath expecting the replacements to be delivered on time, however. Many Ukrainians currently have one leg, and have decided to permanently hold their breath, while waiting for munition deliveries from our Military Industrial Complex, for example.

So if you’ve ever wondered what it was like sitting in an underground bunker, waiting for the president to drop the nuclear football and step on the button, here’s a virtual tour of one from aerospaceutah.org. Press anywhere on the photo to visit the interactive wonderfulness.  One word of caution: it starts making noises right away:

I’ve worked in a defense plant, so I’m used to these sorts of drab surroundings. The cheap toaster oven on the counter is a nice, human touch. And far be it from me to wonder why a facility that can end the world has about the same amount and quality of equipment you’d find in your average college radio station. Better chairs, though.

Never mind all that. Poke around with your mouse, and zoom in here and there, and you’ll discover just how serious this whole procedure became. Over in the corner, in someone’s duty bag, you’ll find this:

Nuclear Armageddon could turn out to be a long slog. Best pack your fuzzy doggie slippers.