We need a good, old-fashioned argument. No holds barred, with nothing at stake. Like a power trip in a teacher’s lounge, or a coup d’etat at a sewer commission meeting. Let’s argue about the best song about Broadway!
Which Broadway? I suppose it doesn’t matter. I understand that we should surrender early to the New York crowd, and argue about something else. I’m pretty sure Philadelphia has a Broad Street, and could beat up anyone on Broadway in New York, but that’s a hockey game for another time.
On to the contestants!
That’s the Fantastic Johnny C, back in 1967. Great little R&B hit. I hope Johnny kept his day job, because that was it for him.
Next up, Johnny Nash!
If Johnny Nash ever had a day job, he certainly could quit after I Can See Clearly Now hit number one in the seventies. He was the first non-Jamaican to make some real scratch with reggae songs. Bob Marley did Reggae on Broadway first, for instance, but Johnny cashed the check.
On the extreeemely other hand, The Bee Gees:
Their falsetto disco singing always went through my head like a railroad spike, but like what you like, like I always say. You can vote for Nights on Broadway if you don’t mind a little snickering emanating from Maine.
Any prog-rockers out there? Well, I’d be shirking my duties here if I didn’t find some sort of Gentle Giant or Yes song or something. Here’s Genesis, from so long ago Phil Collins didn’t have his hair on inside out yet:
I guess I should have warned you that the last one was almost five minutes long, huh? If you made it past all that, how about some Shaggy, doing a sort of reggae rap song about Broadway? On second thought, let’s not. I’d like some readers to make it all the way through this thing.
How about George Benson and AC/DC? We had them on here a while back. Refresh your memory here, if need be: The Scylla and Charybdis of On Broadway.
But we need fresh material here. We could all mock Broadway Girls from Lil Durk and Morgan Whalen. It’s an autotune, tuneless catastrophe, it’s true, but one can’t help but cast a jaundiced eye on the hit counter. It got 110 million views on YouTube in two years:
One hundred and ten mil. Why yes, I do think the United States is doomed. Why do you ask?
Let’s refresh the palate with Doris Day:
Maybe it’s the dress, but all I can think of is Jiffy Pop.
Well, as you might have guessed, there can be only one. Wilson Pickett can’t even get halfway through it before he’s sexually assaulted. Case closed:
Remember: no wagering.
5 Responses
Johnny Nash was a south side Houston guy. He was into rodeo and trailrides (seriously), and owned his own rodeo arena in Houston off of South Park Blvd, before it was renamed MLK Blvd.
Fun JN fact: remember “The Mighty Hercules” cartoons when you we a kid? Johnny Nash sang the theme song. Made it to the arena more than once,met him, and he had zero problem standing around and BSing with random people. A nice guy.
Hi Ed- Thanks for reading and commenting.
I’ve always found it amusing that the most popular reggae records ever recorded came out of Houston and Muscle Shoals.
How’s about “none of the above”? The best song about Broadway is the Gene Kelly/Stanley Donen mash-up of “The Broadway Melody” and “Broadway Rhythm” from Singin’ in the Rain, “Broadway Melody”.
All ya gotta do is chant, “Got a dance” and you’re off and running.
Mmmm. Cyd Charisse.
George Benson