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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

I Get My News Direct From The Seat Of Oxford County, And You Should Too: Read The Rumford Meteor

My very close, personal friend Aubuchon Connery is the publisher, editor, reporter, typesetter, and also has the key to the cabinet with the pens and the lightbulbs at the Rumford Meteor, and he’s asked me to help him move a drifter’s body  get the word out about the greatest little newspaper in the known universe, which of course stretches from Bethel to over near Lisbon Falls.

It’s mostly fresh daily of course– not entirely new, but  more like old-fashioned doughnuts at Dunkin’s than those hot dogs you see on the rollers at the Citgo station in Skowhegan.  Our personal favorite sections are Swampdonkeys, Candlepins And Such, but I hear tell that Queer Doings is a hoot, I tell you what.

During these troubled times, it’s more important than ever to stay informed, so remember: Maine leads the nation! Mostly leads you out into the woods if you’re from Massachusetts. We know you city pukes and straphangers are frightened to be out in the willie-wacks late at night, but consider our plight: We have to walk out of there alone.

Read the Meteor, or you won’t know what it says.

2 Responses

  1. I don't know who is writing those headlines, bur I suspect he or she is completely around the bend of the river. I do hope there's no waterfall downstream; I'd hate for that person to be lost.

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