I don’t know if you already noticed it or not, but electricity is danged useful. Without it, you can’t post witty essays on the Internet or anything. The reason you can’t is twofold. First, you’re not all that witty; second, you’re busy emptying the sump pump hole with a pail and dumping it outside, in the dark.

Other than that, you can do without the stuff. Heat is overrated, and my wife looks so lovely in the candlelight.