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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

Kissmahhs Twee


Yeah, “Kissmahhs Twee” is exactly how my three year old said it. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do when he starts talking like his older brother, and the toddler euphonium noise is gone from our house.

The little fellow danced around the room, pretending to play a tiny saxophone ornament while we listened to Ella Fitzgerald sing and swing; the older boy waxed poetic about the tree; and finally the decorated tree stood guard over their Christmas dreams for the first time this year.

My wife and I will continue to mispronounce things in the manner of our child, and he will correct us eventually, just like the big one did. We will be proud, and hide our faces and weep.

Merry Christmas everybody. Get it while it’s hot.

6 Responses

  1. I love the way our 3.5 y.o. is still working on her r’s. She says she’s a “goewl” — and sounds very much like Henry Higgins.

    Good times.

  2. I remember my brother and sister teasing me mercilessly for mispronouncing “hamburger store.” (We went to Foster’s Freeze in those days, McDonald’s not having yet arrived in the area. Their blue plastic banana split boats were great fun in the bathtub.)

  3. One day when my son was three, I heard him in the back yard repeating “somanabit” over and over. Turns out he was saying the magic words to start his toy lawn mower. And because of my grandson, now ten, my husband and I still refer to our backyard gazebo as the “crazy-beau”.
    I miss those tiny ones and their sweetness. Take my word for it–those years are gone all too soon. Cherish them.

  4. P.S.

    That same 3-year-old has decided that “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is her favorite song ever. She “ooohs” it all over the house, all the time, at the top of her lungs.

    She picked it up from watching Pat and Stanley at your suggestion.

    So thanks to you, this is our regular dinner experience:

    The little one excuses herself from the table, heads towards the bathroom, and then 30 seconds later we hear floating down the hall in the kind of falsetto only a toddler can generate:

    “Oooh, ooh, oooh, ooh,
    Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
    Oooh, oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh”

    Thank you. Seriously. It’s unbelievably enjoyable.

  5. patsy- My wife and I, forevermore, will refer to the place where you buy food as the “gorcery store,” because that’s the last word our older son mispronounced, and we missed it desperately when it was over.

    The three year old is a “target rich environment” for such toddler neologisms.

    Jeff- Pat and Stanley are the most charming thing I’ve ever discovered on the internet. My children watched them non-stop for weeks. I get a few people every day looking for “Pat et Stanley’ on Google. I’m proud to be the internet’s one stop shop for them. Thanks, YouTube embed!

  6. ipkzibMerry Christmass, Sippicanman! And to your entire family, as well.

    My 3yr old calls it a Chrit-miss tree. You know, up here the pre-school has put her in speech therapy, but i still love the way she talks. She runs all her words together, like one long word w/greater meaning.

    What’s cool is when words get past down- we used to say, as kids, ~snuck~ for skunk and ~harm~ instead of yawn. We still use those words, kept alive by my own folks.

    Life is good.

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