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Remote Eastport, Maine
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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

There Are Worse Places To Be Than Lost in Maine

Well, it’s a pretty good video, all in all. It sounds like it’s narrated by Edgar the farmer, who gets turned into a bug in Men in Black, but this is Maine, where everyone is just doing the best they can, so he kind of fits in.

The video is called “Coastal Maine.” For some reason it starts in Rumford. That’s a bit of a headscratcher, Edgar. Rumford is about as far away from the coast as you can get and still be in Maine, but rock on, dude. He graciously elided the part about the hulking, stinking paper mill smack dab in the middle of Rumford, so he’s obviously polite to a fault, which makes him a better man than me. Then he waxes poetic about the waterfall, while taking video of the weir in front of it instead.  Then he sets out on a solid five hour drive to Bar Harbor, the next stop. I’m not sure why he’s hanging out near the New Hampshire and Canadian border of Maine. Maybe he wanted to sneak up on Bar Harbor, went to Canada first, took two more right turns, and then invaded the coast from Quebec. Lots of Quebeckers descend to Old Orchard Beach, near Saco, in the summer, so he could just follow the caravan. Of course if he really wants to fit in with that crowd, he’ll have to wear a speedo and tip 5% in the restaurants.

So it’s Maine-ish enough for my tastes, and you can barely see the seams in the PRODUCT PLACEMENT, so let’s not quibble. Visit coastal Maine! Including the Pacific coast, just on the other side of 49 states from Rumford.

[Previously on Sippican Cottage: Maine Is Totally Like This, Totally.

4 Responses

  1. If I tried to climb rock in black street shoes from WalMart, I’d be gripped mindless, too. But, I digress, and I haven’t even progressed yet.

    Is it “Mainer” or “Mainoius”? No matter – you’ve got a nice state there. How you manage to keep it remote and yet hidden just above the heavy anvil of the American East is a mystery to me.

    I just saw a pretty good exhibition of Wyeths. When I say Wyeths, I mean the 3 heavy-hitters, plus a couple of add-ons of the same progeny. I took close notes on Andrew’s black garment techniques.

    Rock-on, Maineheads. Your coastal pedigree is solid. Oh! Rumford has a paper mill? Tell them to make artificial vanilla as a side gig. The town will go from pulp odor to vanilla. You’ll be a hero. Save me some reams of paper, though.

    Have a great Independence Day, Sippican Family!

  2. Hi Casey- Happy 4th to you and everyone on the wrong coast.

    At least one of those Wyeths was a hell of an illustrator. Can’t testify about the paintings.

    All of western and northern Maine is Alabama with snow.

  3. “…At least one of those Wyeths was a hell of an illustrator.”

    I’m a fan of NC Wyeth.

    I’ve got an ancient copy of Treasure Island on my bookshelf whose binding has seen better days. There are those amongst my family who would have relegated that volume to the trash. A withering glare put paid to that idea.

    When the time came to downsize, I made sure to claim that dogeared relic. That, and The Boy’s King Arthur, as well as The White Company.

    Who says romance is dead…

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