Sippican Cottage

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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

Not Homeschooled

Tell me that one about how my home schooled kids aren’t going to be socialized again. I love that one. It’s a hardy perennial. Love that shite. Tell me again about how screwed my kids are because they’re not pressing meaningless buttons 24/7 on an iSlab on their Jitter stream or their FriendFace page.Tell me about how they’ll never be popular enough to be bullied if I’m not careful. They won’t even be eligible to get whooping cough.

Tell me the one about how my kids won’t be able to go on field trips to the museum if they’re not enrolled in school. I love that one, too. It’s totes adorb. It’s my favorite, except for my other favorites, which are my favorite favorites.  My children never get the opportunity to be chaperoned by someone on the sex offender registry. Of course that’s better than being left at the museum like the other kid in the same story. I think. Pretty sure. Maybe the kid they left behind actually looked at something on the wall in the museum after the batteries in his iBrick ran out. Hey, could happen.

I’m with you, though; I doubt it. We all know if a school-age child’s iBinky battery runs out of electricity, they immediately lie down on the floor and die.

11 Responses

  1. Everyday, in every way, I become more confirmed in that, now famous, admonition: "HIDE YER KIDS, HIDE YER WIFE."

  2. Well, you don't WANT socialized little monsters, or cretins, or Cretans; what you want is normally abnormal beings somewhat like yourself and Mrs. Sippi, but better in some ways, maybe more than some ways. I think you have a handle or two working for you on that. I will say no more. Until tomorrow, or later today, late though it already be.

  3. There is a woman in the Phoenix area that has made it her mission to provide the local homeschooling families access to cultural opportunities offered to schools. She organizes every play, concert, ballet, opera and art opening, that has a special school rate. We have seen every season of the Southwest Shakespeare company complete run, for $8 a seat, for the past 15 years. The theaters know the homeschool group, and over the years, we have gone from being seated in the rear, to right down front. For the most part, the school kids that attend Shakespeare, are from private schools or advanced English classes, so the audience is pretty good, but occasionally, a government school crowd arrives and we all cringe. It really is a different world all together.

  4. Sipp, never mind all them nosy busybodies that get down on everything. Some of the females will find themselves after menopause with nothing but a crummy job and a house full of cats. Some of the males in that nosy crowd will contemplate mutilating their bodies and wearing women's clothing. Good luck on that; they will all get what they deserve.
    Whoops, rant mode got away from me.

    You and the missus will also get what you deserve: wonderful kids that grow up to be good people contributing to society and carrying on the Sipp name. They will reward you with grandkids.
    My NY State son has twelve children. Well, he's a Baptist preacher don'cha know. They home schooled all of them. I'd encourage any couple with kids to do home schooling or find a decent private school. It doesn't have to be a Christian school but I hear they are rated high.

  5. Ain't gonna get no grief from this little corner of the internet.
    Have an acquaintance of mine that can't understand why his kids don't want to be around him, it's cuz they done be socialized to the point that all they do is socialize with dems own group, don wan no sissy grown ups, might chill deys groove.


  6. One other observation. The government school kids have one skill the homeschool crowd lacks. Homeschoolers are not good at forming a line. When waiting outside the theaters or venues, the handlers usually, at one point, ask the crowd to form single file lines. The institutionalized darlings step into queue and the home crowd kind of hangs about in families and moves in a blob. Ha. Never fails to amuse me.

  7. Well, in the nd it all comes down to what the parents do. My three all went to public schools. All are well-adjusted, fully employed adults, each with a strong conservative and independent streak. All are adept at social media, but all read classic novels and visit museums on their own, on a regular basis. I'm a non-fiction reader, so I rely on my younger son to recommend good books. Right now, its Dostoevsky's "Brothers Karamazov", before that Ayn Rand's "Fountainhead". Older son even convinced his college buddies to ignore the FLA bacchanalia during SR spring break and go with him to Rome to see St Peters and other cultural treasures.!

    So, in the end its what you do, not what the others do, as parents.

  8. My kids' public school doesn't allow kids to turn on their cell phones while at school or on field trips – because this.

  9. Small observation about this specific situation: Dutch schoolkids will have seen that painting hundreds of times already in photos.
    And to "modern" kids, photos and youtube videos are just as real as seeing the actual item. They just don't know the difference.

    As to them sitting there playing with their iThings, I'd rather they do that than run around screaming and harassing the other visitors, which is what they'd probably do otherwise unless there's a teacher or parent around (and probably even then).

  10. My Boy Scout Troop does not allow kids to even HAVE cell phones, iPads, etc. on campouts and trips. The big resistance to this comes from Mom, who figures that their kid will collapse if she can't call him every 6 hours.

  11. Hi Everyone- Thanks for reading and commenting.

    Hi J Wenting- Well, you've done it. I know this doesn't happen often on the Inertunnel, but your words have touched me deeply. I've changed my mind about what I see in that picture. I've decided that you're right, and I was wrong.

    You're absolutely right that there are plenty of pictures of that painting on the Intertunnel already. They should burn it, and all those other paintings after they're photographed. They're just taking up space. That museum should be converted to some useful purpose. Maybe they could turn it into a server farm for Snapchat. Then the kids could get some use out of it, and be ennobled. Nothing ennobles a kid like Snapchat.

    Since that painting is the equivalent of a relic like the Liberty Bell in the US, I figure we ought to melt that down as well. They don't even ring the thing. It's got a crack in it. There's plenty of pictures of it. They could melt it down and make something useful out of it. I propose a big, brass Steely Dan.

    You know — for the children

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