Of course Sunny by Bobby Hebb can’t be considered for the title of the Official Cover Song of the Twenty-Teens unless it has truly universal appeal. Unlike some people, Sippican Cottage does not discriminate against Polyester-Americans. I have a dream: I think people should be able to walk down any street in this great land while wearing a Qiana shirt without being subjected to giggling or cutting remarks. Polyester-Americans are people, too.
For too long, Polyester-Americans have lived in the shadows, their cries for respect drowned out by Boney M extended dance mixes, their faces illuminated only occasionally by an errant ray from a disco ball. They were forced to drink out of their own champagne fountains, and transact all their commerce in the rest rooms. It’s time we allowed Polyester-Americans the right to proudly tread the sunny uplands of society in their stack heels and unstructured white dinner jackets!