*No purchase necessary. Some assembly required. Tax, title,license and dealer fees extra. Do not exceed 4 doses in a 24-hour period. You will get wet on this ride. One size fits most. Batteries not included. The white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no parking in the red zone. Dramatization. Proof of mailing does not constitute proof of delivery. Shake well before opening. Contains eggs. Also available left-handed. Before posting, please take a minute to review our posting rules and our legal/privacy policy. All lyrics by Hammerstein, not Rodgers. Hours may vary by location. No smoking or open flames. Professional driver. Closed course. Any similarities between the characters, locations or events depicted herein and actual persons, living or dead, locations or events is purely coincidental and unintentional. Use as directed. Must be 18 to enter. Positive identification required. Handle with care. Do not pass on right. Not responsible for lost or stolen articles. User assumes all risks. No right turn on red. If you can read this, you’re too close. Ass, grass, or cash; no one rides for free. Occupancy by more than 135 persons is dangerous and unlawful but kinda fun. Interior is genuine rich, Corinthian leather. Viewer discretion is advised but not anticipated. Not available in stores. Do not feed the animals. Available for Windows, Mac, and the seven people running Linux. 70% cotton, 30% nylon. Nos falamos Portugues. Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. The cake is a lie. Limit one per customer per visit. No trespassing. No loitering. No soliciting. Please don’t eat the daisies. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Ensure equipment is properly grounded prior to operation. Registration required. Not recommended for women who are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant. Ladies drink free. Apply directly to forehead. Closed Sundays and holidays. Filmed before a live studio audience. Available only for a limited time. Follow the yellow brick road. Lights on for safety. Made in China. Do not use as a flotation device. Stay off the grass. Offer void where prohibited. Installation extra. The rain in Spain should be expected to fall mainly on the plain. All sales final. Two-Year service agreement required. Non-toxic. HTML enabled. Don’t try this at home. Your ad here. Tamper-resistant packaging. Expect delays. Refrigerate after opening. Restrictions apply. See store for details. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Have a nice day.
9 Responses
Does this post cause suicidal thoughts in some people, with vivid dreams and driving or gambling without the ability to remember it? Does this increase the need to urinate, cause dry mouth, dry skin, dry hair and/or dry rot?
Does it contain peanuts or gluten?
Just making sure. You want to cover all your bases.
Close cover before striking.
I just want to know where that artwork came from. I want whatever it was they were selling!
Heh. Reminded me of this: http://youtu.be/pRHgE2Yi3To
Angst now.
Step Right Up was my same thought. Thanks for link. I sort of collect these dumb notes. My favorite is on the hot curling iron insert it warns: Do not use while asleep, not for internal use, external use only and do not use in the shower.
Curling iron: "…not for internal use."
*shudder*
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
I'm sure Hewlett and Packard would know that one (see newer post). And many thanks to those two tinkerers that so few know the reference any more.
Immoderately laughing at Tom Waits.