Sippican Cottage

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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

We Were Up In Heaven, And Now We’re In The Mud

I’ve been married for eighteen years.

I still do not understand how it works. I’ve blasted millions of words into the ether, one way or the other, in the last two decades, but in my heart of hearts I know that I’ve never looked at it straight on. I look upon the whole situation using a kind of intellectual peripheral vision. It’s pagan perhaps, or sublime – I don’t know – to be afraid to look right at something for fear it will go away when viewed.

I used to play music for money. I fell in with the best kind of fellows for it. They didn’t care a fig about what we were doing except that we should entertain the audience. We didn’t invest pop songs with superfluous meaning. It meant nothing to us one way or another what you wanted to hear. We avoided what we couldn’t pull off, and ignored the cranky calls for Freebird, but that’s about it.

I noticed when I had to learn a song that I liked, (that was a very rare occurrence, as my tastes varied wildly from our audience almost to the point of unanimity) taking it apart to see how it worked spoiled it for me. It ceased to hold any entertainment value for my use. It was either amusing or challenging to play, and you’d gauge its appeal to the audience, but it wasn’t the same sort of an animal for me any more.

I have absolutely no idea why my wife would descend from her heavens and come and stand with me in my mud. And I have absolutely no intention of asking her.

13 Responses

  1. I love how your posture and expression display pride, joy, and awe that such a creature would come down in the mud with you.

    I only know you through the ehter, but a man who speaks in such tones of his wife and children is a good husband and father.

    Congratulations, and best wishes for many more happy years!

  2. Pay some small attention and I suspect you will discover that you make her laugh from time to time. At least in my case of searching for the answer these 29+ years, that’s the only one I can come up with. It also seems to help that she knows your deepest vulnerability (helps her anyway – doesn’t do you the slightest bit of good).

  3. Geeze are you dense? It’s because you can play an axe and swing a hammer. That’s fine motor and gross motor and manliness all in one. She’d have been a fool not to snatch you up. And Mrs. Cottage ain’t no fool.

    My man and I, similarly, celebrate 18 years of marriage this month. That means our union is old enough to vote now.

    You got married on a Monday? Must’ve been a heckuva weekend.

  4. Happy anniversary.

    Speaking as a woman, I can tell you that any man who is awestruck by the fact his wife chose him, and shows it, is probably never going to lose her.

    I can’t believe I’ve been married for 28…

  5. Happy anniversary … I think. A bit confused at this point as to which October day the event took place, but I trust you aren’t! 😉

  6. Congratulations, sir. By the way, we share a wedding anniversary. 25 years here. And it is humbling what my wife has put up with.

  7. I think its heisenbergian: To understand the person the relation remains a mystery… you can’t examine the relation without turning the person into an object.

    Do we think about our digestion? And yet, Chicken Wings. Enough said!

  8. 31 years for us. That is not a boast, but an expression of thanksgiving.

    When one finds a worthy wife,
    her value is far beyond pearls.
    Her husband, entrusting his heart to her,
    has an unfailing prize.
    – Proverbs 31:10-11

  9. Thanks, everyone, for reading and commenting.

    Harry- We can’t figure out exactly how old the picture is. Our best guess is fourteen years ago.

    Eric- I get that a lot.

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