I Gave My Love a Cherry…

I notice upon reflection that there is too much snark in today’s offerings. I apologize unreservedly to Sister Bernadette Mary from first grade. The rest of you can lump it.

My friend Bird Dog is looking for suggestions for where to go in New England.

I suggest: around.

My friend Gerard has a time-honored list of preparations for spring. Get Ready… Get Set… Spring!

Apparently spring is a like a barium enema.

Mozilla not accepted for Google Summer of Code 2015

Firefox was a cat’s paw Google used to beat Microsoft. They have their own browser now. I wouldn’t buy any green bananas if I “worked” at Mozilla.

We believe that by building housing and cities that are more attuned to people’s needs, we can have a significant positive impact on well-being, personal development, and happiness: Campus.

It was only sprawl when evil developers like me did it. You sure fixed that, didn’t you, you little shits.

According to some Amazon sellers, review fraud on Amazon is rampant and obvious, and it fools a lot of people into buying fraudulent products, all while making scam artists millions of dollars in the process. The truth about Amazon.

Snicker. That’s not really a problem. The problem is that anyone would be the slightest bit interested in the dreck they’re selling, and a much bigger problem is that this is a modest version of the new business model for newspapers.

You might resemble or act more like your mother, but a novel research study from UNC School of Medicine researchers reveals that mammals are genetically more like their dads.

I shave my father’s face every day. I never get around to looking for mine. 

Speaking of sons, this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ten years: It Has an Unusual Flavor 

I wanna party with Orson Welles. I mean, come on, he’s wearing a circus tent for crissakes; he must be fun. 

The Eiffel Tower has new wind turbines, and they’re beautiful.

No, they’re not. I do like the idea of giving the Mona Lisa a boob job though. And would it hurt to squirt a little Restylane into her lips? They’re nowhere near big enough for today’s “lamprey woman” style.

What It’s Like to Need Hardly Any Sleep

NY Mag doesn’t have any editors, I guess. They misspelled “get” as “need.”

A substantial amount of empirical research suggests that cognitive
ability test scores are increasing by approximately three IQ points per decade.

Good news people: If you’re a salutatorian, in only a century or so, you’ll be able to catch up with my son the weirdo. Good for you.  Now go ask Siri what a salutatorian is.

Related: Can video games affect children’s cognitive and non-cognitive skills?

Keep on playing World of Warcraft on your iPhone. It’s making you more smarterer by the minute. It says so in this document you’re unable to understand. Public schools hand out little handheld television sets and call them computers because they have a lower case “i” in their name. It’s much the same thing. The smart kids are in Asia putting them together.

Drip

There’s a little glacier next to my house. The exhaust from the pellet stove is just enough to melt the icicles above it, and they drip and freeze immediately. It’s about two feet thick, and I know I’ll be looking at it at Easter.

Big things have small beginnings. Drip.

My Interfriend Glynn says he’s going to retire: On Being a Writer: Downsizing the Workload
I’d be willing to retire, but I think you have to have a job first.

My Interfriend Casey Klahn is out of control: The Whole Picture
A person I like and respect asked me how I approach writing. I said I simply worked myself into whatever mood I wanted and wrote it down. Casey seems to be in a bold mood. 

Look what the winter was like for John of the River: Snow and Rain Tomorrow, Clear the Roof 
I live near Mount Washington, and I’m impressed.

My Interfriend Gagdad Bob understands the mystical nature of Kipling Ronald Dynamite: I Dream of Gagdad, Gagdad Dreams of Madonna
I like Madonna. She’s managed to stay completely out of my line of sight and hearing for her entire career, which I can only ascribe to good manners on her part.

Leonard Nimoy appears to have died. Mr. Spock never will, I imagine.
Star Trek, like Star Wars, was cheesy. People get very angry if you tell them that. Few people will admit that a thing they like a lot is trivial. Mr. Spock is one of their gods.

Things are getting a little weird with ski lift tickets: Ski Resorts Experiment With Dynamic Pricing
The only economist worth knowing about is Cournot, and you don’t.

Time for some holy cow: The Rockies

Holy cow.