Are You Currently Listening to Milton Banana?
And if not, why not? I am.
Seriously, what’s wrong with you? That’s Milton Banana right there. Playing the drums. It’s really him. And you’re not currently listening to him. What’s your excuse? It better be a good one.
The guy practically invented bossa nova drumming. Well, important people like his mother said he did, I think. He’s, like famous. His Wikipedia page uses two sentences to illuminate his Banana-ness. If he was a nobody, they could have done it in one, surely.
Check out his discography. I love that after a few miss-starts with trying to come up with interesting titles for his lps, he finally gives in to his inner Banana and just names them Milton Banana, over and over. George Foreman got nothing on him.
What’s that? You do not possess any Milton Banana? Well, technically, no one can possess Milton Banana. Listen to him play. He’s already so possessed that he would require an exorcism just to tone him back to a regular jazz drummer. But in case you need more Banana than you currently hold, here you go:
I mean, just look at the guy:
Look at him. Drumsticks, Marlboros, and draft beer. A smile that could light up a bowling alley. A mesh shirt that could get any girl from Ipanema’s motor running.
I tell you people, you haven’t lived until you go Bananas.

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