We’re bad, and we’re nationwide, of course — as long as Google works. But we’re invading other countries, too. It’s no great feat. Everyone’s always invading France. Sometimes they import Corsicans to invade themselves.

Our pronouncement that Sunny by Bobby Hebb is the Official Song of the Twenty-Teens is bearing fruit, or frog’s legs, or something. In honor of this very wonderful and very French version of the song, I’m going to take up smoking unfiltered cigarettes and forgo shaving my armpit hair for a month.

Remember people, “Choisissez votre femme par l’oreille bien plus que par les yeux.”