Sippican Cottage

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A Man Who Has Nothing In Particular To Recommend Him Discusses All Sorts of Subjects at Random as Though He Knew Everything

By Popular Demand… The Cubicle Drinking Song!

But you won’t stay popular very long requesting songs like this.

Anyway, the Edjamikated Redneck wanted the boys to sing Charlie and the CLM, and he’s pleasant so we hauled out the Flip camera and Got ‘er Dun.

* While it may sound like it, no animals were harmed in the making of this video.

Here are the words if you want to sing along. We sound better if you do. And have a few stiff drinks.

Charlie And His CLM

Let me tell you all the story
Of the PC LOAD LETTER
And poor Charlie’s dyspeptic day
He’d eaten Kung Pao in Woonsocket,
Walked the aisle to the printer
And cropdusted the entire way

Chorus:
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
But his smell is still discerned
Prairie Dog coworkers
wonder who was passing
He cropdusted, and never returned.

Charlie lingered at the printer
As the gas cloud settled
Shoved in two reams of foolscap plain
Then the LaserJet was blinking, saying
LOW ON TONER
Charlie rumbled, and started to strain

Chorus:
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
But his smell is still discerned
Prairie Dog coworkers
wonder who was passing
He cropdusted, and never returned.

Now all day long
Charlie stands at the Canon
Thinking, “What will become of me?”
Crying
There’s never any paper
In the Men’s Room holders
And he was going to need a whole Dead Tree

Chorus:
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
But his smell is still discerned
Prairie Dog coworkers
wonder who was passing
He cropdusted, and never returned.

Charlie’s boss goes down
To the handicapped bathrooms
Every day at a quarter past two
And Charlie knew the danger
If he toilet bombed his bosses
When the szechuan came rumblin’ through.

Chorus:
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
But his smell is still discerned
Prairie Dog coworkers
wonder who was passing
He cropdusted, and never returned.

As his lunch rolled on
underneath his spattered tieclip
Charlie looked around and then he sighed:
“Well, I’m sore and disgusted
And my bowels can’t be trusted,”
And he lay down by the fax and died.

Chorus:
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
But his smell is still discerned
Prairie Dog coworkers
wonder who was passing
He cropdusted, and never returned.

17 Responses

  1. My dad's dream was to have his own version of the Lennon Sisters.
    Fortunately, we never documented.

    When do you go on tour?

  2. Well….. now my life is complete. I can just eat my gun and go to my Lord happy and fulfilled saying, "I have seen and heard the very best the planet Earth has to offer. You may start the supernova now."

  3. Ooooooooooh!

    Here's a trio, singin' hard,
    Wailin' on them guitar strings!
    Apollo, listening from the yard,
    Taps his foot and also sings:

    "Let Zeus and all the fates take heed:
    A brand new god is in the game
    To meet each cube-based worker's need;
    And Sippicus shall be his name!"

    The Pantheon, they chugged their wine
    And drunkenly affirmed the thing.
    And now accountants, when they whine,
    The blessings of old Zeus they'll bring!

    In other words: excellent job, guys!

  4. It's official: I am no longer afraid of you.

    But you may want to check the elder boy for zombie bites. There's a blankness in that stare.

  5. I believe that is the cutest thing I have ever seen – and I realize you may not have been aiming for cute, but the world needs more like the Heir and the Spare.

    Teach the Spare Glockenspiel. Mallet percussion is the bomb. Besides, no one ever expects the Glockenspiel….

    I am now driven to explore my intarblog boundaries…..ok, maybe not.

    The Other Andy
    http://www.smokingtoaster.com

  6. Ask and ye shall receive.

    Once again I had tears in my eyes at 7:00 in the morning.

    I should also mention that I grew up listening to The MTA, although I have never been to Boston, and At the age of 7 asked my father why, if Charlie's wife could hand him a sandwich daily, why couldn't she stuff a danged nickel into one?

    And thanks for the link!

  7. Hi Ed Redneck

    Hi other Andy- I wasn't aiming at anything other than cute. Glad you think we hit it.

    The spare can actually play a passable backbeat on the drumset already. The heir can play the guitar much better than is required for Charlie and the CLM, and looks a little blase. I don't play the guitar, I'm a bass player.

    Vanderleun- The seek professional help sign was in your honor, of course.

    Andy- You were probably afraid of me for the wrong reasons before, and are now unafraid of me for different, wrong reasons. Me, I'm afraid of girls and the IRS.

    Thud- Your children are better looking than mine, so they might go farther in showbiz.

    Jean- My son wouldn't be caught dead with me, as it should be.

    Gagdad Bob- Those were a blast. I used to be able to afford to keep a lawyer on retainer, but now I can only afford a lawyer with a retainer, so I'm toast.

    Cameron- Yours is better.

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